Bro Feels ‘Objectified’ After Late-Night Dick Pic Request

ASPEN, Colo. — Feelings were hurt and intentions were questioned early Monday morning when a slow-moving ski town courtship was shifted into fifth gear with the sudden unsolicited request for a picture of a man’s genitals.    

Sent at approximately 1:37 a.m., the unexpected dick pic request reportedly left 28-year-old skier and marketing associate Taylor Williams confused and disappointed at the swift change in the dynamic of the millennial courtship.

According to Williams, he and local massage therapist Nadine Quinn, 26, had “gone out a few times” and were progressing toward “something cool.”

“When she sent me that dick pic request, it made me feel kinda shitty,” Williams told The Bumion during a Skype interview. “Up until that point, it seemed like we were really connecting. We hiked, went hot springing, I thought she liked me. But that text made me feel super devalued, like I was only worth the impression my dick pic was going to convey.”

“It was like … my personality, intelligence and humor were only worth so much before it was time to cut the bullshit — and see a picture of my penis.”

Williams, getting to the heart of the matter, said that ultimately, the request was objectifying and made him feel like the only thing that mattered to Quinn was the size and/or appearance of his genitals.

“It was like her seeing a picture of my cock was the final hurdle to wanting to sleep with me, as if my personality, intelligence and humor were only worth so much before it was time to cut the bullshit — and see a picture of my penis. It was like ‘Hey, all of that hanging out was fun, but, are you worth my time or what?’ My generation is fucked!” 

After refusing to send the requested phallic photograph(s), Williams’ subsequent texts to Quinn went unanswered, and as of press time, he’s still not heard from the estranged dick pic solicitor. 

“It makes me feel terrible,” Williams said. “This person wanted me to be super vulnerable and send her an image of my penis, but when I conveyed that it made me uncomfortable, she dropped me like a sack of shit. I should’a swiped left!”


Categories: Culture, Featured

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