Dear Bumion, I need some mountain town advice.
I started hanging out with this guy a couple of months ago, back at the start of the summer. We’ve been having a great time together, have really similar interests, and I thought we were entirely compatible. But last week, everything changed.
We promised each other we would wait, but after a few beers, our resolve loosened, and … we showed each other our skis. When he pulled out his 168 cm. Rossi B2’s, I couldn’t suppress a giggle — surely he was joking, right?
But the hurt in his eyes told me he was serious. I know I shouldn’t judge him based on his equipment, but I feel like he’ll leave me unsatisfied. What if it’s a powder day, and he can’t keep up? I know I won’t be able to keep my eyes off of other guys’ sticks at the hill. Please help!
Dear Disappointed Daisy,
You are not alone. The first thing you need to do is ask yourself if this is something you can live with. Is it? Will you be content heading out on a blower day, knowing he’s going to be packing those 168’s while you’re trying to go deep? How much do you care about him? Enough to ride on the groomed terrain so he can keep up? Daisy dear, you need to be challenged!
Have you considered communicating with him about his ski size? Would he be open to exploring different sizes that would be better for you and leave you more satisfied?
In our experience, a lot of people with this problem are able to adapt and compensate in other ways (leaning back, performing fancy tricks, etc.). Keep his feelings in mind, he may act proud to have those B2’s, but you never know how much he’s really just masking some deep-seated insecurity. Compliment him on the things he’s good at. When on the hardpack, let him know how good his turns look — it’ll do wonders for his confidence and self-esteem!
IS HE OPEN TO HAVING MULTIPLE PARTNERS? THIS MAY SOUND TABOO, BUT YOU’D BE SURPRISED HOW MANY MEN ARE RECEPTIVE TO BRANCHING OUT AND SKIING WITH SOMEONE DIFFERENT.
How much are you willing to compromise — are you willing to meet him halfway? Maybe spend a day doing groomers, and then it will lessen the blow when you leave him behind on those big days.
Is he open to having multiple partners? This may sound taboo, but you’d be surprised how many men are receptive to branching out and skiing with someone different. But are you ready to see him on the hill with someone else? Or would that be “weird?”
Lastly, it may be time to delicately suggest … a demo. I know you don’t want to hurt him, but if he causes you to miss out on pow turns, you’ll grow to resent him, and those shitty B2’s. That resentment will create tension, leading you to seek someone with more width underfoot to ski with.
We’ve seen this a thousand times, and we know it’s hard, but be honest with him, and more importantly, be honest with yourself. Good luck!
P.S. In case it doesn’t work out with your boyfriend, here are my skis compared to his: