Culture

Trump Defends Size, Shape Of Powder Turns

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WASHINGTON, DC — The 45th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump, hit back at critics Thursday after having the size and shape of his powder turns questioned in numerous digital and print publications.

Although no formal documentation exists to support the claims, the 45th President has insisted in recent weeks that as a young man he won multiple international ski competitions.

“Nobody turns better than I do, believe me,” the President told The Bumion. “I was big league in the 1980’s. But my turns are still terrific — I make the best turns!”

The feud between the press and the President erupted after Trump said that if he were to enter a modern-day ski competition, he would “win easily.” But the 45th POTUS also stressed that skiing competitions today are “rigged” for people who are “good skiers.”

But really folks, my turns are so GREAT, so BIG and so BEAUTIFUL! In the eighties, owners would beg me to come make turns at their ski areas.

“Those rigged comps are a disaster,” Trump said. “But really, there’s no problem folks. My turns are so GREAT, so BIG and so BEAUTIFUL! In the eighties, owners would beg me to come make turns at their ski resorts. They would say, ‘Donald, please come take pow turns at our comp.’ It was sad folks, believe me.”

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