Culture

Squaw To Build Wall — Says Mt. Rose Must Pay

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KINGS BEACH, Calif. — The foundations for a North Lake Tahoe showdown were laid Thursday, when Squaw Valley announced their intention to build a wall across Nevada’s Highway 431, while also insisting that Mt. Rose resort will be responsible for financing the construction.   

In a delicately-worded marketing statement, Squaw insisted the wall will minimize traffic and extend the length of powder days for local residents while also proclaiming “Mt. Rose will pay for everything.”

“We’re gonna build a wall, and make North Shore great again!” the Squaw statement read. “Everyone will love it — Nevada will love it, California will love it — and let us tell ya folks, people in Reno are really gonna love it!”

Everyone will love it — Nevada will love it, California will love it!

Ski town social scientists say growing lift lines and fewer in-bounds pow tracks are likely leading causes for the legendary resort’s decision.

In response to Squaw’s announcement, Mt. Rose said they believe all skiers — including Nevadans — should have equal access to the Tahoe Basin.

“We’re not paying for that fucking wall,” a senior Mt. Rose official told The Bumion. “Tahoe is a melting pot of vastly different cultures — Californians and Nevadans — and we think this diversity is what makes Tahoe truly great!”

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