JACKSON, Wyo. — A local snowboarder was reported to have shit his pants Wednesday while hiking up the Mount Glory bootpack. In a scene that witnesses called “sad” and “disgusting,” 29-year-old Samuel Rooney hit rock bottom when at approximately 10:57 a.m., the mountain town regular found himself beginning to […]
NEW YORK — Global bro-deal indexes tumbled Thursday as brokers and dirtbags alike recoiled at an unexpectedly bad round of NOAA seasonal forecast data. Hard goods and wholesale commodities fell, but ski swap bonds rose sharply as ski bums tightened their belts and brokers sought safe-bet investments, like […]
JACKSON, Wyo. — A hungry ski bum was banned from his favorite Thai restaurant Wednesday after what was intended to be a quick egg roll theft snowballed into a “5 star” public shaming. Famished and low on funds due to a lack of off-season work, local housing entrepreneur, Tinder survivor […]
#YOLOSTONE NATIONAL PARK — Hundreds of wild animals were made warm and cozy Wednesday as the National Park Service began the arduous annual process of sheltering all manner of beasts and fowl for the harsh, cold winter months.
ASPEN, Colo. — Feelings were hurt and intentions were questioned early Monday morning when a slow-moving ski town courtship was shifted into fifth gear with the sudden unsolicited request for a picture of a man’s genitals.
MARTHA’S VINEYARD, Mass. — A wealthy mother suffered a social shaming Wednesday after she was forced to disclose her two 20-something adult children are complete dirtbags. Using euphemisms such as “living the dream” and “30 is the new 20” to describe her kids’ lack of financial and professional ambition, 57-year-old […]
SAN FRANCISCO — A Bay Area accounting firm reported Friday that one of their newest employees — an ex ski bum — had officially burnt out after three days on the job and told numerous clients to do their own taxes.